The screech-in; a tradition that is perpetrated on the Atlantic coast of our very own country. The concept is simple, all you do is take a shot of screech, kiss a cod on the mouth, then say one line or another as designated by one of the locals. If you find yourself in this situation and you notice your thoughts are starting to stray into the “what the hell kind of person makes another person kiss a fish in order to fit in” area, I want you to take a deep breath and calm yourself down. Things could be worse. The maritimers could have had access to the sarcastic fringehead.

In the animal kingdom there are many non-lethal ways of fighting one of your own kind. You could rattle some horns, do some headbutting, a punch to the face, or even slapping necks (yeah, ok, giraffes are weird as hell too). But no. Somewhere along the line the fringehead genes decided its best plan for the future of the species involved expanding faces and pressing mouths. I can’t help but to imagine a scenario of our past where things were only slightly askew and us humans evolved this trait, and at the same time feel an overwhelming sensation of having dodged a bullet.

“I was about to drop a security deposit on that place on Georgia, but then another guy wanted in and he had more face than me so I had to give it up”

- Wolverox

P.S. – Don’t let your spirit get stuck in the sand.