Today is the last day of November, and I think we all know what that means. That’s right! Only five more sleeps till December 5th, so go grab your sheepskins, masks, bells, and chains and put them somewhere easily accessible so you’ll be able to find them once you are all liquored up. Normally I’m the type of guy who sees Christmas decorations in the stores in November and get all grinch about it. But this year I’m feeling in the spirit and I can’t wait to get out on those streets, scare the children, hassle the pretty girls, and beat the not so pretty ones with a stick.

Wait, what? You mean you aren’t from a batshit crazy part of the world (I’m looking at you, Alps) and have no idea what I’m talking about? Id like to introduce you to a friend of mine. Meet the Krampus.

The story goes that Krampus travels around with old saint Nick doing things that range from mischievous to downright evil, but only to the kids on the naughty list. A couple examples include stealing all their presents, and putting them into a bag and kidnapping them(I wish I could tell you where he took them, but the Krampus is a slippery devil and who knows where he goes).

Of course, we as humans couldn’t let Krampus have all the fun. It has become a tradition in the Alpine towns for the young men to don the Krampus masks and furs and raid the town drunk while swinging chains, sticks, and bells. Technically this could happen at any point in December, however the 5th is when it is turned up to full steam and the young women are warned to stay indoors. But as backwards as it all seems, it holds a valuable message: if you don’t want to get messed up by a scary demon, just be nice.

-Wolverox

Tags: Krampus